Sex Toys for Beginners: A Straightforward Guide
Sex Toys for Beginners: A Straightforward Guide
Sex toys have been around in various forms for centuries. These days they’re sold openly, bought by millions of people, and talked about a lot more freely than they used to be. But if you’ve never bought one before, the range of options can still feel genuinely confusing.
This guide is for anyone approaching their first purchase. It covers how to choose something that suits you, what to spend, what materials to look for, and a few practical things that most product descriptions don’t bother to mention.
Where to Start: What Type of Toy?
The category of toy that makes sense as a starting point depends on what you’re looking for. The most popular categories for first-time buyers are:
- Vibrators, for clitoral or vaginal stimulation (or both)
- Dildos, for penetration without vibration
- Cock rings, for men who want a stronger, longer-lasting erection
- Anal toys, for anyone curious about back door exploration
- Male masturbators, for men looking for something beyond solo hand stimulation
For most first-time buyers, a small vibrator or bullet vibrator is the most popular starting point. They’re inexpensive, simple to use, and give you a genuine sense of what vibration feels like without committing to something large or complicated.
Size and Cost: Start Small
Starting with something smaller and less expensive is almost always the right call when you’re new to sex toys. Not because the experience will be less enjoyable, but because your preferences are still unknown to you at this stage. What sounds good in theory doesn’t always translate to what works in practice.
Small vibrators can be had for under ten pounds and are capable of delivering very satisfying experiences. Entry-level jelly dildos start at a similar price. Cock rings are available for just a few pounds. You don’t need to spend a lot to get started, and if something turns out not to be for you, you won’t have wasted much.
Once you know what you enjoy, you’ll have a much clearer sense of where it’s worth investing in something better.
Does Material Matter?
It matters more than most product listings suggest. A few things worth knowing:
Silicone is the gold standard. It’s body-safe, non-porous (meaning bacteria can’t get into the surface), easy to clean, and durable. Silicone toys cost a little more but last significantly longer.
Jelly and rubber are softer and cheaper, which makes them popular with beginners. The drawback is that they’re porous, so cleaning thoroughly after every use is important. These materials also degrade faster over time.
Glass and metal are completely non-porous and the most hygienic options available. They can also be used for temperature play, heated or cooled before use. They’re firm and inflexible, which suits some people and not others.
If you’re not sure, a silicone toy at a moderate price point is a sensible first choice.
Cock Rings: A Note for Men
Cock rings work by fitting around the base of an erect penis, restricting the outflow of blood just enough to create an erection that’s firmer and lasts longer. For couples, this usually translates to more satisfying sex for both partners.
If you’re new to cock rings, start with a soft, stretchy silicone or jelly version. These are far more forgiving than rigid metal or rubber rings, which create significant restriction and aren’t suitable for beginners. A stretchy cock ring can be worn comfortably and removed easily, which is exactly what you want while you’re still figuring out if you enjoy the sensation.
Lubricant: Use It
This is the thing that gets glossed over most in beginner guides. Using lubricant with sex toys makes a real difference to comfort and enjoyment, and it protects both you and the toy.
For most toys, water-based lubricant is the right choice. It’s compatible with all toy materials and is easy to clean off. Silicone lubricant lasts longer and works well with glass, metal and hard plastic toys, but should not be used with silicone toys as it can degrade the material over time.
For anal toys specifically, a dedicated anal lubricant is important. The anus produces no natural lubrication, and penetration without it is painful. Some anal lubricants also contain ingredients that help relax the surrounding muscles, which makes first-time anal play considerably more comfortable.
Cleaning Your Toys
Sex toy cleaner is a genuinely useful purchase and not something to skip. It’s antibacterial, designed to be safe for toy materials, and a quick spray and wipe after every use significantly extends the life of your toy and eliminates the bacteria that would otherwise build up on the surface.
If you don’t have sex toy cleaner, washing with warm water and mild unscented soap works as a substitute for non-porous materials. Porous materials like jelly need more careful attention.
Shopping Online vs In-Store
Most people buy sex toys online, and for good reason. You can take your time browsing without any awkwardness, compare products side by side, read reviews, and everything arrives in plain, discreet packaging with no indication of what’s inside. That applies whether you’re buying one toy or ten.
